Sunday, May 11, 2014

Mother's Day

I cannot believe we are already in May. Our little man is 13 weeks old and the time has just flown by.

Today is my first Mother's Day. It seems surreal that I have been blessed with the title to be called mother, mom, mommy. I was a bearer of life, privileged to bring forth a child through great pain. But you know what they say, that women shall be saved through childbearing. I know the meaning of that verse now. Motherhood has taught me so much. The art of gentleness, patience and unconditional love. No matter how many sleepless nights, lack of freedom or frustrations I may have when I come up short on what to do, I know that I wouldn't trade it for the world. I am so thankful to have been taught the value of motherhood and now being able to experience the joy it brings. I never knew such love, such fierce devotion and protection before I knew my son.

He was created with love, half of the man I will walk this life with and half of my own flesh and blood. He was brought forth in oneness and we will raise him up a man of God, of valor, of honesty, strength and truth.

I have so many dreams for this tiny little boy. I never want the weight of my world on his shoulders, but I know he will do great things. The world is so full of darkness and fear and I hope to teach him to stand out amongst others, to love and be kind, to shine a little more light, even if it seems only a flicker.

I fear time goes too fast as I see him grow before my eyes. But he is all of us, the combination of my own parents, my grandparents, of Justin's family and our friends, all who love him more than he will ever know.

I pray every day that I can be a good mother. One who will teach my son to protect those weaker than him, that will display the sort of woman I hope he will marry. To show him how women should be valued and honored. I hope I teach him to always tell the truth, even when it hurts. I hope I can discipline without causing him to fear, but instead to respect my voice and my instruction. I hope to lay out a path in life that he is able to follow, to encourage him to always try his best, to never give up on himself. I hope I give him optimism and a safe place to speak his mind and his heart. I hope to be half the mother I know I can be.

They say the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. I pray my hand is firm yet gentle, always reaching out to hold the little fingers that seek mine. To wipe tears from sorrowed eyes and rub shoulders that heave into my arms. To tickle little feet. To teach little hands how to write. To make mud pies, dig under rocks and help little ones climb trees. To show not to be afraid of the dark but to be strong enough to face it. And when those little hands grow up and surpass mine in strength and size, I hope they show both hard work and tenderness, never too old to hold their mother's hand.

I never knew love till I became a mother.

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